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    The Beauty of Broken Trust

    Friday, December 5, 2014

    "I trust you and daddy and Jesus."

    Her big blue eyes peered into mine and I knew she meant what she said.

    She's four years old and she already understands that there are boundaries and sometimes boundaries can be broken. So in her mind, for the time being anyway, it's easiest to just trust those that she knows all too well will take care of her: mommy, daddy and Jesus. She's a thinker for sure, and I'm glad that my sweet girl is perceptive.

    I vividly remember being a little older than her age and while riding the school bus home one afternoon, I suddenly had the realization that  not every person in the world was good.

    There was a little girl that I shared the seat with on that big yellow bus. She had beautiful olive skin and tightly ringed curls framing her face. Even at such a young age I was captivated by her warmth and beauty. I deeply loved my little friend.

    What I don't remember is if it was something she said to me or if it was just the way she slowly got off that bus and dreadfully walked up the driveway that triggered me into the realization that something just wasn't quite right. Somewhere behind the smiles and laughter was a heaviness and my little heart was full of longing to make things better for her.

    I remember watching her walk up to her front porch and making a mental checklist of all that she needed to make her happy.

    Looking back now and I do think it was a wee bit odd that I wondered such things because at the time of this memory I was at most, six years old. 

    I'm an encourager by nature and if I'm being completely honest, it still haunts me that I could have made a hopeful difference in that child's life. I hope that somehow, in some small way, I did.

    We were teeny tiny of course. I didn't know what I could do to help my little friends troubled soul. I just knew that something wasn't right.

    When my Quinley stopped me with her simple words of wisdom this morning I took myself back to my own childhood.

    Somehow in the midst of the baby dolls, barbies and cartoons there is an awakening that begins to develop in a young mind. I love how the Creator made this a process. A person couldn't ever handle at one time all of the emotional and spiritual development that takes place over the years.

    Even in infancy a need surfaces, a cry is heard, soothing takes place, the child calms down and TRUST is born.

    It's a beautiful thing when it all happens the way that God intended for it to. In our fallen world though sometimes  a lot of times life get's messy and people misuse this beautiful gift. Someone get's disappointed and once the process happens a few times what was once a beautiful vibrant gift of God to humanity fades and is left a dull, dingy gray full of emptiness and void.

    Sadness and disappointment turn into slow moving steps up to that front door. Dread, fear and suspicion take the place where trust once was.

    "So where's the encouragement in this Angel?"

    Well I'm so glad you asked.

    Because as believers we have the promise of a faithful and loving God who with the beautiful plan of Redemption gave us a promise we can trust in forever.

    He is good. He is faithful and He is coming back again to take us home forever to a place where trust will never be broken again.

    But what about the meantime? In the meantime, this I can promise you. And it isn't good.

    Humanity will fail you. People will disappoint you. Life will sometimes let you down. Sometimes it will let you down a lot. My mother once told me that if you have a handful of friends in your lifetime that you can trust you are a very blessed person. I'm an optimist by nature so I will increase that to two handfuls just for good measure.

    I've been fortunate enough to make some deep and lasting friendships in my years and I'll go out on a limb and say you might just be able to-or have already done so- as well.

    In the meantime I can also make you another promise. This one is good. 

    God will NEVER break your Trust and he will NEVER let you down.

    He will be your GOD
    Psalm 31:14
    But I TRUST in you Oh Lord; I say, "You are my God."

    He will be your JOY
    Psalm 13:5
    But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.

    He will be your DIRECTION
    Proverbs 3:5-6
    Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

    He will be your PEACE
    John 14:1
    Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and also in me.

    Sometimes I stop and wonder about what happened to my little friend on that school bus so many years ago.

    Did what was wrong get better? Did she grow up to be an overcomer? Is she suffering somewhere still to this day?

    The truth is that my family moved to another state the following year and I never saw her again. While my heart grieves at the brokenness that was so apparent to me at the time, I also rejoice at the fact that we have a Savior who is our Sovereign God. He is our joy, He is our direction, He is our peace and so much more than words could ever permit me fill up in this tiny little space known as a blog.

    Friends he is and forevermore will be all of that. All of that and so much more.

    You can take it to the bank every. single. time. For as long as time will last.

    So I tust. I TRUST that He made Himself known to her. That he pursued her or is pursuing her now just like he did until He captured my heart. I know that when He did or when He does she will find that he is so much more than enough. 

    He alone is enough. And when you learn just how much you can trust Him….well, you really don't need much else.

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