I'm so thankful that The Lord didn't make him an "easy child" because how boring would that have been?
On good days he is a delight. On bad days he is stretching me, pulling me out of my comfort zone. I love it that he keeps me humble and in constant conversation with the Savior on my parenting. I don't even pretend to have him all figured out.
The truth is that this sweet boy of mine is actually a lot like his mama.
It's humbling to see the best and worst of yourself in a pint size version.
I used to wish that I could tell him the hard lessons I've learned early on so that he could just skim over that part of life toward becoming the little person that God has designed for him to be.
But lately I've changed my prayer to sound a bit more like, "God this is an amazing child with a super strong will. He is strong, yet tender hearted. He is very opinionated but easily influenced at the same time. So I thank you for the wonderful person you've created and I want you to show him from an early age how to become all that you intend for him to be."
The fact of the matter is that I think I've been protecting my sweet boy too much.
Often times I can see him starting to get angry and I'll hurry and try to redirect him.
If I know that something is going to upset him then I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it.
There's nothing wrong with that sometimes-but my heart has been convicted lately that I need to let him feel anger so that he can learn how to deal with it in a healthy way.
I need to let him be upset, so that he learn how to cope with disappointment early in life.
That might sound mean and hard and cruel but the truth is that I wasn't much older than my boy is now when I vividly remember how I started figuring out that everything in life wasn't always sweet and sassy.
And the last thing I want to do is build a bubble around my little one that is so thick he'll never be able to see the world around him clearly.
We are on vacation as I type this. You would think that a week in the sand and sunshine would be giggles and grins and everything glorious wouldn't you?
You would be wrong.
Our little man wasn't feeling well when we started this trip off and that coupled with the lack of a routine....shazam. We found ourselves in the middle of a couple of off days for our boy.
I immediately did what I always do first, which was start thinking of ways that I could handle this and ways that I could make it better.
Of course, as a mom, it's easy to do that.
But then I made myself let go a little bit.
"Just trust Angel. Trust and believe he's going to be able to figure some of these hard things out."
That's always so much easier when you aren't right in the middle of a mess.
And then yesterday as I was watching the grumpiness unfold he did the neatest thing.
He sat down with his blue shovel and just started digging. He dug for quite some time and actually he and The Princess spent a few hours today doing the same thing again.
Not building a sand castle really, just digging for the pure pleasure of it.
As I watched him dig I thought about life and the times that you feel overwhelmed, overcome by frustration, anger, sadness, depression and all of it would surely overtake you if you didn't choose to keep on digging.
Sometimes for the life of you, you just look at everyone else and they all seem so happy and carefree, jumping in the waves and all, and you have to sit and dig.
But if you keep digging long enough you will find what you're after.
The joy everlasting that comes from Him, only from Him sometimes gets covered up with the messiness of everyday life.
Week after week and year after year of storms and waves can overlap and bury your dreams deeper and deeper until you look around and it all looks the same.
Kind of like a sandy seashore.
When it does and when you feel numb from the frustration of it all-if you'll just go back to where you started from and start digging, it may not appear at once, but surely after while persistence pays off and what you're looking for will start to resurface again.
And like a six year old who's just been handed a double scoop of ice cream, you will cherish your treasure and relish in the joy of that which you spent precious time looking for.
Are you in a pit today? Keep digging friend.
I don't promise gold....I've got something better.
It's joy everlasting. It can't be bought or measured-it comes from on High and it is so worth every day you'll ever spend digging.
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