Unveiling Beauty: Finding Him in the Fog

Last week as our little town began to thaw out and the snow had all gone back home, I drove home one morning fascinated by the thick fog. Because I am not deterred by small things like the fact that I wasn't yet dressed for the day (who am I kidding, I never am at this time) I pulled over to admire the beauty looking toward the lake. 

Still dressed in my robe and slippers I dared not venture too far but I was able to grab a few pictures. It was too pretty not to. 

I thought about a few of my family members going through problems too big to fix on their own. Like finding their way through the fog, they're putting one foot in front of the other and making it onward one day at a time. 

Sometimes the only way to move ahead is to refuse to look back and just continue to do the next right thing. One small choice at a time the path inches on and opens up slowly. 

Even in my own little family I find myself more often than not just begging God for wisdom almost daily. There are no diapers to change these days, no little mouths to spoon feed. But the choices to make and deciding which path to take sometimes for these older kids is no small thing. 

This morning as I drove that same road and took my kids to school I started going over the evening for today and quickly moved on to tomorrow wondering about a few logistics. I was probably starting to sound a little overwhelmed because it wasn't long before the one who now drives us most days piped in. 

"Mom, don't worry about tomorrow. We'll figure it out. Just get through today first." 

Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

It's a little humbling but also so comforting to hear your man child remind you of the principles you've taught him since he was young. Those same hands that I taught to tie shoes are now pointing to and reminding me to put into practice my Father's words. 

Sometimes I think that our children learn best from what they see us struggle with the most. My kids know the anxieties that I have to lay down daily. They know that I do best when I'm in close proximity to our Father. And at the ages the older two are now they can remind me how to make it through when figuratively speaking, the fog seems so thick.

My prayer for them-and for you today-is that you too will find Him so near. Until the skies clear and you can see clearly again, enjoy the closeness of the one who wants to surround you like a tangible mist in His sweet embrace. 

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Why We Do What We Do

For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep and was laid with his fathers and decayed, but he whom God raised up did not decay. Acts 13:36-37

Last week we were sitting at Cracker Barrel after a loss at the state tournament when some sweet friends asked us if we'd join them at the FCA banquet. To be honest, I did not want to go because I didn't  want anything to do with sports or the like for a good while. I wanted to eat my chicken and dumplings and go home and build a fire because I'm all about the comforting myself with food and fires.

But we decided to go and were we ever in for a sweet surprise. 

Sometimes it's so easy to just get wrapped up in the rat race and forget all the reasons why it is that you do what you do. 

You get up and put on your clothes (or stay in your robe if you're me) and drive kids to school, go to work and then a few activities afterward, find something to call dinner and fall into bed just to do it all again the next day. It can all seem a little monotonous sometimes. And then when you don't get the outcome you'd hoped for like Tanner did not last week, finding purpose in what you do can be a little hard.

So when Jonathan Evans got up and spoke about this very issue the timing wasn't wasted on us. The gist of his message was his story of "Do it for Him" and that the reason we do anything that we do regardless of whether it is with sports or not-is to give God glory. 

When we do it for ourselves it is in fact all meaningless. The only reason that we're alive and breathing, on our way to heaven, moving our bodies for the purpose He's given us this side of heaven, is to bring glory and honor to the One who created us in the first place. 

Acts 13:36-37 says, "For David after serving God's purpose in his own generation, fell asleep, was buried with his fathers and decayed. But the one God raised up did not decay."

I love that David's life is recorded as serving God's purpose in his own generation. I've spent a lot of today reflecting on my own purpose and thanking God for the things He's entrusted me to do well while I'm here.

That means that the pile of socks I spent matching up this morning was time well spent because my family will indeed need them this week. It's a blessing to put socks together.

That time that I put into cooking chicken this morning and then wondered what in the world I was going to do to turn it into dinner was time well spent because my family will need to eat. Preferably something delicious but the verdicts still out on if I delivered on that one. Sometimes I get it right and more often than not I don't.

The miles that we will travel after school today taking the kids to sports and then church will be miles well spent because they're sowing seeds of worship. They're glorifying God with the gifts He's given each of them. They're serving Gods purpose in their own generation.

Even David though, in all that he did right, after serving the purposes of God in his generation he decayed.  But the One that God raised up did not decay.

At the end of the day I think that David was good at realizing it wasn't all about him anyway. He just lived, worshipped, messed up, repented and then worshipped again to serve his purpose in his time. And he spent a lot of time magnifying the One coming after him who would not decay. 

And because of Him we can live and move and have purpose in all of the little things that we do today and every day. When we make those little things about ourselves, whether they be hitting a little ball far into the distance or Ubering kids across town in a mini-van, or matching socks, or running a business or shooting a ball through a hoop, they become pointless. 

But when those things are done for Him, what we do becomes small and He is magnified. Less of us and more of Him. It's how the world see's Him in us.

It is Gods purpose for anyone's life to use the talents and gifts that He's given each of us to the best of our ability and further His kingdom with that gift until we're called home. And at the best we can do our physical bodies will decay at the end of this life. But thanks to Jesus and the power of the resurrection we will indeed one day rise in victory where death and decay will be forever defeated.

That victory gives purpose and meaning to every task, every job we will ever do this side of eternity. If we do it for Him then we live for another Kingdom. One that is so much more fulfilling than our own.

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Seek the Lord and Live

 Seek the Lord and live Amos 5:6

I remember watching a well known murder trial a few months ago. It was one of those where you couldn't help but become emotionally invested in the need for justice. My interest wasn't so much about the drama surrounding the courtroom as it was wanting to see the victim's family receive a fair minded end to their nightmare.

Such is the case in the book of Amos as he speaks prophetically to the children of Israel. The state of the nation had gone terribly awry from the way that God had originally intended. He had clearly laid out expectations for how others were to be treated in Exodus 19. But immorality had settled in and the poor were mistreated, people were sold and sexual immorality was pervasive in their land.

And as a prophet of God Amos was on a mission for justice and righteousness. 

He called for repentance and a return to all that is Godly in character. In chapter five he tells of the day of judgement that is coming and warns the people that the day of the Lord will be one of darkness and not light. There in the midst of evil he encourages the people to seek the Lord and live. Amos 5:6

Seek the Lord and live. That's the only way to ever really live.

Amos is seemingly calling God's people to a higher calling not because of any selfish concerns (I'm sure it wasn't favorable to deliver such messages in his day) but because our God is Holy. He wants all that is right for all of His people. He is not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. (Luke 13) 

It's still the same way for us today if we will indeed seek the Lord and live as Amos challenged the Israelites to so many years ago. Those who truly know and love the Lord as Savior will not only wait for the fair end that is coming, we will also seek the Lord and live in the in between. 

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Beautiful Grace

The fact that it's taken me three months to sit and write this post might say something about the pace of life around here these days.

It's a good busy though and I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's not the filling up of white space with endless to do's but rather hardly finding white space because you're busy living.

Little Bella Grace was born to us September 23 last year and I can hardly type those words without tears because I could have easily missed the joy of her being here. She was not my plan. Any child born to me at all again was not my plan, but it was His. As usual His plan is like it always is and that's so much better than anything I could have ever dreamed or imagined.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Her name means beautiful Grace and she is all of that and more to me. She came to us at what seems to be the longest spiritual drought I have faced to date. It's a scary place to be and to be honest-I would rather wrestle my will against God's and come to terms with His good plan than to ever face that awful silence again. Spiritual silence is deafening.

Two years ago when Tim and I began foster care classes I was sure that it would lead to adoption. We finished the classes and got our first placement, three little precious children who desperately needed a safe place. When I think of them a smile comes to my face. They were precious and they were deeply loved. We were just their holding place for a while as they got to where they were going.

Then two more beautiful and I do mean beautiful children came a few weeks later. They reminded me a lot of TL and Q, being so close in age. That's always a handful but they brought each other so much comfort and joy. Again, we were a holding place though and the story of how the Lord took them to their forever family will never cease to amaze me.

I often get text messages with pictures or see updates of both of these sets of children laughing, smiling and thriving, each of them right where the Lord intended for them to be.

But for a long time I wondered, where does that leave us? 

We put our home on hold with DCS and began to think and pray about our children and our future. I thought that because we hadn't gotten that one perfectly adoptable child for us that we had been a failure. Failure when you're walking the path that you're sure God asked you to walk is a heavy weight.

I can look back now and see God's beautiful plan and how He was leading us and using us all along the way-but it didn't feel like that at all at the time. It's so unfortunate how the enemy can blind us from God's truth. For a while I couldn't see clearly and I let him steal my joy and cloud my view.

Fast forward to about this time last year when I suddenly didn't feel too well and you know the rest of the story. I was ecstatic from the beginning even though this wasn't my original plan.

I had more aches, pains, swelling and discomfort than my other two pregnancies combined but I think I began to come more alive the further along our pregnancy went. For me, finding strength and hope on the inside-and that's exactly what this baby was doing for me-is worth far more when it comes to feeling good than any exterior physical condition ever will be.

We didn't find out the gender but Bella Grace, Beautiful Grace is the name we had picked out for a baby girl. All along the way the Lord was pouring out his lavish grace on me, fulfilling my desires to nurture a life again and do what He's made me to do.

Sweet Bella has been nothing short of an absolute joy to add to our family. She's been a bit under the weather this week with a cold and congestion but she hasn't stopped smiling and grinning from ear to ear at us.

The other day as she curved those little chubby cheeks up at me-I could feel the Holy Spirit say to me, "See, I knew your heart all along. Even when you didn't. You still had more love to give and I just had to show it to you. If you gave it to five children in a short time, you sure have it in you to give it to one more for a lifetime."

Our story didn't begin here and I don't know if this era ends here either. What I mean by that is don't expect me to birth another sweet child anytime soon but my heart is wide open to any and all plans that The Lord might have for us as well.

Something else that I do know is that He is faithful, He loves His children and whatever we are to do and wherever He leads us, He will show us that plainly in time.

If you're reading this today and you're a bit confused like I was about what the Lord is doing in your life-be encouraged.

He is there and He is working even when His plan doesn't make sense to us at all.

Just because my measure of success wasn't what I thought it should be didn't mean that the Lord used us and our home to bring five precious lives into His wonderful plan. Now that the fog has lifted I can  say that without the shadow of a doubt that helping one child for just one day is success. And I would do it all again.

A lot of people say, "Oh those kids were so lucky to have you," but I think it is the other way around. We were the lucky ones.

They brought me perspective. Then sweet Bella birthed hope alive again in my heart-we might not have had her if the others hadn't given me a good set of glasses through which my heart needed to see.

And for your enjoyment, I'll end with what Grace looks like in our life at the current season.

Isn't it beautiful?!

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